I have $41 in my checking account and owe someone in my studio $44. Here are my plans for the resolution of this situation:

1) Jon Kamita, in his dotage (34 and just getting his undergraduate degree. In comparison, I have been alive for 58% of his life.), will mistake a screwdriver for a q-tip. The resulting blast of air from the puncturing of his eardrum will cause a tornado to hit Los Angeles, which will miss his family's home by mere inches, but will knock all the pictures and glassware off the walls and shelves. His father will return from the library, where he was just putting the final touches on his own undergraduate thesis in psychology, to find the only surviving picture of the family's late, beloved terrier disfigured by the fall from the wall. In shock, the elder Kamita will sink to his knees, miraculously avoiding every shard of glass carpeting the floor, but, due to his debilitating arthritis, will find himself completely unable to get back on his feet without assistance. Mrs. Kamita, majestic as a schooner, will return home some hours later and will sail into the living room to announce a resolution to change her hairstyle (the various pros and cons of which have been occupying her thoughts for many weeks now), to find her husband asleep on his knees. Mistaking his silence for disapproval, and, due to her tunnel vision--the hereditary scourge of her bloodline--neglecting to notice the missing pictures on the walls and the broken glass on the floor, she will think of divorce and totter hysterically on her red heels out of the house and down the front steps to her car, to zoom off into the darkening smog. However, her prospective zooming will be frustrated by the theft of her 1998 Lexus, which, in her haste to tell her husband about her recent aesthetic determination, she had left unlocked five minutes before. The car thief, none other than someone neither you or I know, will take the car on Hwy 99 with designs on visiting the city of Bakersfield to deliver the goods to his black-market fence, a small man with bad teeth and hair where you wouldn't expect. A sudden, torrential rain, possibly due to global warming (a phenomenon in which we are all implicit), or possibly due to the momentary sadness of God (a phenomenon nobody could have been expected to predict), will cause the car, driven by the thief, to begin to hydroplane (a phenomenon through which the wheels of a vehicle lose direct contact with the surface on which they are rolling due to the intervention of a thin film of water). Though its name invokes a vaguely Latin ancestry, the Lexus, and all others of the brand, was manufactured by the Toyota company operating out of Japan, and like most cars from the Land of the Rising Sun, is an efficient and well-made machine. This particular Lexus, after running off the 99 and into the ditch beside the 99, will be abandoned by the thief once he finds that he is unable to restart it (not due to any fault of the machine but due to the fact that the key fell out of the ignition and was lost in the bumpus when the car ran off the road) and once he finds in himself a sudden yen for a doughnut, which he will satisfy at a shop beyond the ditch.